Yesterday was so bad that he nearly made me commit hara-kiri in the school playground. First he managed to kick a hole in a fence (it was about to be pulled down thankfully), then he pushed over a younger child, poured juice all over the ground and rolled in it and finally had an almighty tantrum (LOUD/SCREAMY/TEARS THE LOT) as I wrestled him back into the pushchair.

“You need to be firmer with him,” said one granny who was smart enough to notice my face and move away quickly. I did also notice the various looks of other parents which ranged from sympathy to pity and even irritation (my all time favourite). Having been through this all  before I also know the rote – ignore all looks, stay calm, distract said child, warn said child, use the naughty step, and finally in my case do lots and lots of mummy yelling!

My bible last time around was Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green. A fantastic book that reminds me constantly that “toddlers are not adults and have limited sense, limited and attention spans and the big one – toddlers don’t think like we do“.

This thinking helped a lot this morning when my son decided it would be a great idea to climb onto the table (he did this in the five seconds I turned my back to get his sister a drink) and tip his cereal with milk over his head! He ended this by trying to take a running jump off the table (don’t worry I caught him rice krispies, milk and all)!

So are you going through toddler mayhem? How are you keeping your sanity? Let me know.

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My daughter Bella, was named after my aunt despite the fact 99% of people seem to think I was inspired by the Twilight series. Not that there is anything wrong with being inspired by a book character, actor, song or even in the case of one friend a car (his daughter is called Mercedes – his car of choice).

In fact the new list of popular names for 2011 shows that many parents are inspired by what they’re watching and reading and hearing about. Which is probably why in the US – Jacob (another Twilight name) is currently topping the list of boys names alongside Mason (Kardashian grandchild). In the UK Jacob only makes it to number 9, and Mason number 56 but the UK boys list though no surprise at the top (Oliver and Jack) is also full of new names such as Jayden, Logan, and Riley.

Meanwhile on the female front Sophia and Isabella are the top girls names in the US, compared to Lily and Emily in the UK, but again new names are shooting up the list with Layla, Sienna, Esme and Orla all moving swiftly. At the lower regions of the naming chart Celebrities also seem to be have the biggest impact on new parents with Suri (The Cruises), Harper (Beckhams), also rating as parental favourites.

So how do you feel about the popularity of the name you chose? I love the choices we made and it doesn’t bother me when I meet other children with the same name or hear that the name is popular. However, listening to a discussion about names on the radio this morning I was amazed that so many parents were so irritated that the ‘original’ names they had chosen were now trending.

So would you choose differently if you had to do it again? If you’re pregnant are you influenced by the names you hear around you? Let us know.

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Does this cover shock you? The Time magazine cover, which is about attachment parenting has been causing a storm all weekend with comments ranging from ‘it’s normal and beautiful’ to ‘it’s sick and wrong’. Wherever you stand on the idea of attachment parenting, which encourages mothers to breastfeed into toddlerhood, co-sleep, and carry their babies in a sling in an effort to limit their time away from their child, this cover has done breastfeeding zero favours.

While the magazine’s aim was no doubt to sell as many issues as possible  (lets pick a mum who looks like a model rather than the founder or the movement Dr Bill Sears), the image definitely doesn’t make it easier for women to breastfeed especially those who struggle with both breastfeeding and the idea of breastfeeding in public.

I think it’s hard enough to convince people that breastfeeding is a normal and natural thing without complicating the issue with discussions about extended breastfeeding. The fact is well over half of UK mums stop breastfeeding by the time their babies are six weeks old (though 90% of those who stop don’t want to).

So whatever your thoughts on breastfeeding big kids (and by the way there’s no research that says it’s bad for the child) I wish magazines like TIME wouldn’t go out of their way to sensationalize the topic like this.

But what are your thoughts? Let me know.

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My solution so far has been lots of moaning and lots of chocolate neither of which helps at all. A quick poll of friends for alternate PMS solutions came up with similar strategies but seemed to add a fair bit of wine and internet shopping. Seeing as I don’t drink and have virtually no money, I feel both of those options may well send me over the edge.

Back when I was pregnant I recall a mum saying one of the best things about pregnancy is that it makes your periods and PMS easier afterwards. Maybe in comparison to childbirth but aside from that I’ve not noticed any difference at all. In fact, I’ve found having small children, constant interrupted sleep and no time to exercise makes it a hundred times worse. So my GP recommending more sleep, more exercise and less stress for my PMS, makes me want to scream (preferably at him).

So aside from his ‘helpful’ advice,  I’m wondering if anyone out there has any real practical solutions to help all of us mums with PMS (apparently 75% of us suffer from it). If so, please share…

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Firstly my daughter walked straight into dog muck on her way to school and freaked out royally (not that I blame her seeing as some dog owner had left it slap bang in the middle of the pavement)! Then I had a sudden visual migraine (caused by three hours sleep) while driving and had to pull over causing some van driver to go ballistic even though I signaled and put my hazards on first. This was then topped off by my 2 year old locking me out of the house as I got the shopping out of the car.

The front door was actually on the latch at the time but he managed to pick up my keys and chubb lock the door from the inside. As I got my spare keys from my neighbour, I mentioned what had happened to me so far and he ‘helpfully’ said, “Oh you have one of those mum brains like my wife”.

Apart from being a badly timed joke, I hate the expression ‘mum brain’ because it infers that as a mum we’re all stupid, silly, and ditsy because nothing occupies our minds. Aside from the fact no-one ever says that to dads, it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know that juggling kids, work and life takes a lot of brain cells, but of course, I didn’t say that because I am far too polite (and because I was afraid I’d SHOUT very loudly at him).

Studies actually show that far from killing off brain cells, motherhood maximizes them and even though I know that, I still feel slighted by the ‘mum-brain’ term. Or maybe I was having a sense of humour failure?

Has anyone ever accused you of having a mum brain? Do you hate the term? Let me know what you think.

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And while obviously it doesn’t matter what you wear on the school run, I do like fashion and yearn to look a little bit on trend again sometime before the decade is out. So I’m liking it that a variety of mums have started blogging about what they wear on the school run and beyond and offering tips on what clothes work for a busy mum.

One blog School Gate Style is written  by a ‘clothes-loving, shopping-obsessed, mum of 3′ and is a brilliant look at investment pieces, shoes that work for busy mums and how to get great clothes on a budget: School Gate Style Swap.The blog is written by mum Avril Keys from Belfast who says her blog features stylish practical, high-street outfits to help mums find fashion inspiration.

Personally I find blogs like these a great read, especially as I don’t feel the fashion magazines I used to read talk to me in any way whatsoever. One magazine which I was reading yesterday (supposedly aimed at mums) had a ridiculous fashion spread with a £930 dress, a £500 jacket and a £170 bag and that was on the budget page! I don’t know about you but I still want to be fashionable even though I need my clothes to be practical and cost effective.

It’s why I’m also loving the US blog Aint’ No Mom Jeans, which sums up the ethos of mum style blogs very nicely for me – ‘mom style is something for us that can stand up to the toddler test:  it can be pulled on, easily washed, is something that can be worn whether you are kicking a ball around the park, going down the slide or taking the kiddos out for lunch.  It’s influenced by trends, but not defined by them.’

On the UK front Cocomamastyle blogger Helen Canning also shows very smartly how “you don’t need to say goodbye to style the minute that little plastic stick says ‘pregnant.” She has a great post on must -have cross the body bags (ideal if you’re pushing a pram or stroller) and pick of this season’s best dresses that won’t break the bank.

But what do you think? Do you feel as if you’ve fallen into a fashion gap? Where do you get your fashion inspiration from? Any blogs you’d like to recommend to us?

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And if you don’t think these sexist views filter down think again. Talking to my friend’s teenage daughters (11 and 15 years) it was upsetting to hear that they felt they had to put more effort into their looks than school work each day because as they say, “That’s how girls are judged”. In their view not only by their friends, but by boys and eventually employers (thankfully that list bit is untrue).

So what does their mother have to say? Well quite a lot as it turns out as she’s a counsellor for girls with eating disorders, but to be honest her words of wisdom  go unheard because her girls would rather go by what they’re seeing and hearing from friends, magazines and TV than their mum. And that’s endless girls on talent shows being told to lose weight if they want to be successful (Girls Aloud in their early days above), intelligent women on TV being told they are ugly (Mary Beard from Meet The Romans) and others being told they are too old to get the ratings in (Arlene Phillips on Strictly).

And if you don’t think this affects the younger ones then think again. Even my five year old has commented that it’s only the pretty girls who get to win, be clever, and look smart on TV and she watches age appropriate programmes like Barbie, Winx Club, and Disney films.

What’s the answer? Well, like everything it’s to probably to first balance out what your kids are viewing. Alongside the girl-fest, my daughter also loves Deadly 60, Backyard Science and Tom and Jerry. For older kids, I think it’s a case of using the above ‘debate’ to talk about the whole issue of looks, and how although it seems like ‘being pretty’ is the only thing that counts in life, it isn’t.

But what do you think? How can be stop our kids becoming looks obsessed?

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Avery Lynn suffered from the genetic disorder Spinal Muscular Atrophy. The disease affects the motor neurons of the spinal cord and brain stem. Which meant that eventually, Avery wouldn’t have been able to use her arms and neck, and finally, would have been unable to breathe. Though doctor’s said she was unlikely to live past two years, she died unexpectedly yesterday.

Her bucket list, which is detailed on her blog was simple and included things my kids do on a regular basis – play hide and seek, have a tea party with mummy and eat ice-cream. And her blog begins: “Imagine you’ve been diagnosed with an incurable genetic disease and you are told you will not only lose your ability to walk and move your arms, but you will die between now and the next 18 months. What would you do? My name is Avery Lynn Canahuati, I’m almost 5 months old, and this has become my reality. But before I die, there’s a few things I’d like to accomplish this is my bucket list and my story.”

The blog is posted by her parents Laura and Mike Canahuati and their aim was to not only help Avery live the best life she can but also raise awareness of SMA on a global scale because as Mike  says, “We’d never heard of this. Nobody we knew had ever heard of this, and yet it’s the number one genetic killer of infants in the United States,”

As a result Avery’s blog has so far attracted over 2 million views in the last couple of weeks. Plus she has 113k facebook followers and 8000 Twitter followers. The Canahuati’s hope is that their daughter’s blog will lead to more funding into research for SMA and routine SMA testing for parents. “If we can help save a few of my future friends and their mommy, daddy, and loved ones from SMA” said Avery, “then my life, while cut short in time, will be beyond fulfilling in stature.”

What better reason to follow and share Avery Lynn’s bucket list at her blog and on Facebook and on Twitter. 

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These days I use them more to connect with other mums, and mostly to get some good shopping and money saving tips in these rough financial times. If you’re an online community virgin, I can tell you that through these communities I have saved £300 on car insurance, found out a way to have a holiday on a budget and recently how to make a Peppa Pig birthday cake. For someone like me who works from home they are a life saver.

If you feel the same way or are feeling a bit alone at home, or you’re just eager to get on board you’ll be happy to hear that KidStart have created a new community for all their members.

KidStart Connect is a place where you can go to share shopping tips, your reviews on goods and stores, and voice your opinions with other mums, dads and carers. KidStart are also aiming to help members to follow their favourite retailers and be kept up to date with the latest offers.

Aside from this you can create and join groups, chat and share information with parents at the same life stage as you, and discuss whatever’s on your mind from shoes to relationships and TV programmes. Best of all as KidStart Connect is new (unlike some of the HUGE established communities) you have the chance to mould and shape this community to your own tastes and needs.

Sign up and decide what you want a community to do for you. How could this online meeting space, help and ease your life? Sign up today and see what it can do for you.

PS: KidStart Connect is looking for early adopters who want to become moderators. Find out more by clicking here

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I have to say I wouldn’t have even noticed her feeding had another mum not announced very loudly and quite rudely that she was offended and asked the mum to ‘cover up’. Even now I am not quite sure what she was offended about, a naked breast perhaps, or the fact someone was breastfeeding her hungry baby in a library? It was bizarre and caused a ripple effect across all the mums with people taking sides, and voices being raised.

I have to say the library staff despite being harassed by the ‘offended’ mum, didn’t stop the other mother breastfeeding or even suggest she cover up. And too right because the Equality Act 2010 makes it illegal for anyone to ask a breastfeeding woman to leave a public place such as a cafe, shop or public transport. Having said that the whole debacle did upset the breastfeeding mum and her baby, and she ended up leaving.

I still find it hard to believe people, especially other mums have such a problem with something as natural as breast feeding in public. My view is if it makes you feel uncomfortable look away or leave yourself, don’t harass someone who is simply feeding her child!

But what do you think? Let me know.

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Like many parents, we seem to be on a constant conveyor belt of ‘doing’ – doing work/doing household chores/doing kidstuff/doing more domestic stuff – that leaves us always exhausted. Mix this in with interrupted sleep patterns for five years and it’s no wonder we’re part of the ‘tired-all-the-time-lets-complain-about-it’ generation.

I don’t know about you but lately I have been totally fed up of feeling this way partly I think because my tiredness comes, not from the exhilaration of an exciting life, but from domestic drudgery. So it was interesting to interview a counsellor at the weekend for a piece I am writing on parenthood. She is the mother of four kids, works, juggles her childcare and yet says she is not tired all the time.

Her secret is not a posse of ‘help’ but the fact she is (1) more laid back about her home life than me and (2) more determined to not only have some me-time but use it for more than sofa surfing. As I talked to her I realised I am so keen to keep on top of the laundry/chores/shopping/and not let it topple onto me, that I spend a lot of my day and evening racing around ensuring it’s all out of the way before I have a sit down. Needless to say by then, sitting down is all I can do.

As the counsellor said, ‘Would the world end if you left it for a few days? Would it be so awful if your house was a bit untidy?’ My first thought was to say actually yes, but in reality it wouldn’t bother my kids or my husband and it would mean I would have a lot more time to do something I love like a gym class, or read a book or watch a film. Of course, I would probably still end up tired but it would be a tiredness worth having.

So what are your thoughts on being tired? Aside from sleep and a week at a spa, let me know what might help you to feel less tired and fed up?

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While no one really knows why allergies in children are increasing. One school of thought is that we lead cleaner, germ-free lives today and our immune systems are therefore under-developed and over-react when exposed to allergens such as grass pollen, and cat hairs.

Leading paediatric allergy expert Dr George Du Toit from The Portland Hospital for Women and Children says, “Food allergy is most prevalent during the first few years of life and affects between 6-8% of children in the UK. The most common foods children are allergic to are: cow’s milk hen’s eggs, peanut, tree nut (e.g. cashew), sesame, soya, wheat and kiwi fruit.”

The good news is, that many children outgrow their allergies, for example, egg and milk allergy are outgrown in at least 85% of children by the age of 5-7 years, though peanut, tree nut and sesame allergy tend to continue into adulthood. If you’re unsure if your child has a food allergy, symptoms of food-induced allergies include rashes (hives, eczema), swelling, gut pain and vomiting, itchy red eyes and runny nose, wheezing, and very occasionally anaphylaxis.

If Eczema is the problem it may help to know says Dr Du Toit, that in up to 50% of children, eczema is associated with an underlying food allergy and whilst the food allergen may not actually cause the eczema, eating it may make the symptoms worse. “Foods such as tomato, citrus and berries may irritate facial eczema” says Dr Du Toit, “Though you can still feed your child these foods, but it’s better to serve them cooked, and after the application of a moisturiser to any dry skin or eczema patches on the face, to minimise symptoms.”

If you have struggled to get a good diagnosis, allergy management is changing. Health care professionals are starting to realise just how important it is to provide emotional support alongside symptom treatment, so do speak to your GP  and get the help you need. Additional help can be found at the British Society for Allergy & Clinical Immunology, Allergy UK, Asthma UK, National Eczema Society.

If you have any advice on what helps with your child’s allergies, please do share your experiences.

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