How Strict Is Too Strict?
Are you a strict parent? Apparently I am, according to friend who says I expect too much from my five year old. I have to say it has left me feeling a bit guilty as I am often on my daughter’s case about behaviour especially when we’re out and about. It’s a bit of a parental dilemma for me as I don’t want her to feel I am always nagging her but at the same time I don’t want her to behave badly.
As with everything how strict you are, is all about balance and of course your own upbringing. My own parents were very strict and had very high expectations of my brothers and I, which was a good thing on the one hand as we all became high achievers but a bad thing on the other because there was very little understanding of how we felt and wanted, which means we were often angry kids.
Interviewing a parenting expert at the weekend I had a lightbulb moment when she told me that the ideal solution is to have expectations that are appropriate for your child and not for you. So asking as five year old to sit on her chair at a restaurant is appropriate but expecting her to stay there for two hours while you chat to friends isn’t. Asking a three year old to tidy her room with your help is appropriate, expecting her to do it alone isn’t and so on and so on.
Like everything it’s very obvious but I often forget this very simple bit of advice. Anyhow I’m interested in other views. Are you a strict parent? Do you believe in tough love parenting or something more laid back. Let me know.